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Happy Father’s Day

I owe so much more then just a day to my Father. He gave up his life to raise me. He worked hard to make sure I had a good life, he worked nights so he could attend all my school events as a child, often times missing sleep. He always put me first and him second.

It wasn’t always easy for him, he knew nothing about raising a girl, and I look back and realize I made it pretty hard on him alot of the time. But we survived! Even if we did eat to much frozen pizza or I overfilled the washing machine to many times. I at least have memories.

I want everyone to know how lucky and grateful I am. And that I love him more then words can express! I also ask for prayers for my Dad because he is hurting and suffering (emotionally and physically) right now over major family/life decisions. Its so hard to see someone you care about suffer. Its even harder when you know how hard they have worked and how much they don’t deserve the bad they are going through.

 

Love you Daddy!

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You failed at being a Mother

 

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As I scroll through Facebook today its obvious its Mother’s day. Post after post of individuals writing about their mother’s, daughters and how special they are, childhood pictures, sharing memories, so much happiness right? Not always..

Mother (Verb:) to care for or protect like a mother; act maternally toward.

A little bit of background: I was raised by my father most of my life (and he did a wonderful job.) I wasn’t blessed with a mother who was caring, loving or even liked her children. My birth mother was and still is a drunk and druggie, who thought putting alcohol and men before her children was more important. I never referred to her as mom, even though I did remain in her life for quite a few years because of my younger sisters, and I always hoped and prayed that my good influence would help her change but it didn’t, and now that my sisters are adults  I am glad that I am free from her drama.

But even though she didn’t raise me, I don’t refer to her has mom, and she was a horrible influence she did teach me a few things, now that I am in my 30’s I felt a need to end this chapter in my life and wrote a closure letter to ease my heart.


 

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I looked up the definition of Mother for you. One of them is being a Verb:to care for or protect although you have done neither of those in my lifetime, and you pretty much failed at being a mother, you have taught me a few things.

You taught me how horrible alcohol and drugs are. You have spent your whole life putting those 2 things first, before your children, your health, everything. I’ve seen it destroy you. (And now its destroying B.) But I was lucky because of you, I learned to stay away from drugs/alcohol.

You also taught me to be a stronger person. My whole life you put me down to build yourself up, you made me feel weak like I couldn’t survive. But I am, and honestly I’m doing so much better now because I have the weight lifted off me from all your negativity.

I learned the importance of family, relationships and friendships. I was there for my sisters! I gave up a lot for them, and I would do anything for them. THAT is what love is. What have you done for them? Besides offer them alcohol and weed? I spent many years trying to form a relationship with you for my sisters sake, and because I hoped you would change. I even convinced myself that as you got older you had to change because that’s part of growing up. But your selfish, always acting like a victim to make others feel sorry for you. I’m glad to be done with that part of my life. I have actual friendships, with people now that don’t involve guilt trips it involves 2 people working equally.

And most importantly, you taught me its ok to not have a Mother. Because I had a great Father who worked extra hard and was always there for me. I am happy with who I turned out to be.

-A

 


 

If you are without a mother my heart goes out to you. I also want to send my heart out to all the Mom’s who have babies in Heaven, and all the ladies trying to be Mother’s as I know this day is hard. My only baby is a Heaven baby ❤ 

My Blogger Confession

Do you ever wonder why you are doing what you do? I never thought I’d end up writing product reviews, blogging, working online. Actually to be honest I dislike the internet even though I spend way to much time on it most days. I spend hours arguing with it and in the long run it usually ends up winning.

As a child I grew up on a farm and hated the country life, I envied my friends who got to live in the city, I felt secluded and sheltered. As I got older I did enjoy the peace and quiet of the country life but I always knew I belonged in the city. I knew that I was a big city girl at heart. So I moved to the city, yet always ended up back in the country.

Fast forward to many years later of trying to MAKE my life into a life of exactly what I wanted. Because really isn’t that what we all want? The perfect dream? Obviously it all is different, some of us want families, some of us want to travel, etc. We just want to be happy. The difference is you can’t force it. I tried for so many years to make my life into sometime it wasn’t. I wanted a family, ended up chronically ill and can’t have children anymore.

I never in a million years pictured my life the way it is now, but that is ok because this is who I was meant to be! But want to know a secret? I hate writing. And I hate the internet. But I think this is my path, and I think I will learn as I go and I will get better at it. Who are you meant to be? Don’t be scared of that person!

-AmandaSue

Welcome

Hi!

Thanks for joining me! I look forward to sharing some great products with you! This is my first time blogging so please be patient with me as I learn the ropes 🙂 Have a great day!

-AmandaSue